From Girl Crush to True Love
by bluetadpole1300
Summary: How Tonks felt about Lupin in the beginning. Her love for him, and heartbreak in knowing that she could never have him. And, once she's they're married, her thoughts about how she felt at the start.
1. Chapter 1

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Chapter 1: The Meeting

Splish! Splash! Rain beat down on my umbrella as I ran down the dreary sidewalks of suburban London. I was _Very_ late for something _very _important. Just the thought of showing up for the meeting 15 minutes after it was scheduled to start, wearing the most ridiculous muggle clothing (a knee length, yellow rain coat with red rubber boots and a sky blue umbrella covered in florescent yellow ducks) ,was enough to make my cheeks flush. What would Moody think? What would think? Most importantly, what would _he_ think?! Finally, I was standing at the border between number 11 and number 13 Grimmauld place. With a wave of my wand, the 2 townhouses began to shift and move apart, reviling number 12 Grimmauld place, the secret headquarters of the order of the phoenix. I ran up the steps and into the door, kicked off my boots, tore off my coat, ran down the hall, and threw open the meeting room door. "Hiseverusminervaarthurmollym oodyfleursiriushestiakingsle yand…and R-R-RemussorryI'mlate!" "Sorry doesn't stop the dark lord!" said Moody, "But now that you're here, might as well take a seat." He said, indicating the chair next to none other than Remus Lupin himself. I looked at the seat, and than at Remus, and back at the seat. It was the only seat left. It's just my luck that the only seat left was next to the man that made my heart beat like a bass drum and sent shivers down my spine. No way was I going to be able to focus on the meeting now! What if I did something embarrassing? What if I accidentally fall on top of him? What if I can't contain myself and I lean over and start kissing him or something like that? What would he think of me? "Well, Nymphadora, are you going to sit down or not!?" said Moody, sounding agitated. I took a deep, shaky breath and sat down. Kingsley started talking and I tried to pay attention, but sitting next to Remus made that impossible. Did I look okay? I hoped my bright pink hair wasn't sticking out as much as it normally did, and my clothes didn't look too rumpled. I absent mindedly began fiddling with my hair, combing it with my fingers and smoothing it out. "Nymphadora Tonks! This is not a salon!" Mad-eye barked, resulting in a tremendous amount of laughter from everyone at the table. I felt my face grow hot. He could see everything with that damned magical eye! Kingsley began talking again, and once more, I tried to pay attention. But my main focus became stealing glances at Remus without being noticed by anyone, especially him. God, he was so cute it hurt. I took pictures of his face in my mind, to save for a day when I was feeling particularly sad and lonely. "So Tonks, what will you be coming?" Kinsley's deep voice interrupted my thoughts. "What? Who's going where?" I said and instantly felt stupid for saying it. Again, everyone laughed. This time, I joined in. "Miss Tonks, I think you have provided quite enough entertainment today. Didn't you listen to a word I said?" Kingsley was trying to sound polite; but there was a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Jeez Kingsley, you sound like one of my professors at Hogwarts!" said Sirius. This was followed by another outburst of laughter. "SILENCE!" screamed Moody. One look at his face told me that I was in for it! He turned around in my direction, and began walking towards me. "Miss Nymphadora Tonks, it is time for you to decide if you ARE A GIGGLING SCHOOL GIRL OR A PROFFESIONAL AUROR! His face was now inches from mine, and his magical eye seemed to be focused on something deep inside my head. I often wondered if he could read minds with that thing. At that moment, I desperately hoped he couldn't. "Now then," he said in a soft, yet menacing voice, "are you going to waste your time and ours by sitting here staring at Remus or are you going to PAY ATTENTION AND BE A BENAFIT, NOT A BURDEN, TO THIS ORGANIZATION!" I have never been more humiliated in all my 23 years. "Now then, no hard feelings Nymphadora, you are a wonderful witch." Said Mad-eye, returning to his place at the end of the table. I figured this was not an appropriate time to ask him not to call me Nymphadora. I turned around to steal a quick glance at Remus, only to find that he was looking at me! "Moody isn't pretty when he's been ticked off!" he whispered. "You've got that right!" I replied, snickering. He winked at me, and turned around to face Kinsley, who had begun to talk again. This time, I made myself listen. "On Thursday night, some of us will be flying by broom to number 4 Privit drive to pick up Harry Potter and escort him to headquarters. Do you, Miss Tonks volunteer yourself for this mission?" he asked me "Oh, of course! I would love to go!" "Excellent. Do you have a properly working broom?" "I think so, but it's rather old, and I haven't flown it for awhile." "Then you can borrow one of ours just to be safe."

"Right than, that settles it. The meeting's over now, next one's on Thursday! For those of you who are coming to pick up Harry, meet here at 7:00 sharp." Moody barked "And if you're late," his magical eye swiveled around to face me, "we will leave without you. Dismissed!" Everyone got up, and the room was instantly filled with exited chatter. "I've got a few butterbeers, if anyone would like to stick around for a drink!" Sirius called hopefully from the sitting room. I felt so sorry for my cousin, always cooped up in this dusty old house. "I wouldn't mind a drink right now!" I said, grabbing a bottle and sitting down next to Sirius on the couch. "In that case, I'll join you two." Said a familiar voice. I looked up just in time to see Remus Lupin grab a beer, and sit down beside me. We were shoulder to shoulder. I felt my breath catch in my throat, and fought to resist the urge to put my head on his shoulder. "So, how goes it with you?" he asked. "Ah," said Sirius. "Bored out of my mind, as usual. Trust me; the roaches are about the most interesting thing around here." "Sirius, have you ever thought of cleaning the place out? I mean, it would probably be a lot nicer if it was a lot less dusty, and without all of this junk." I said, once I had regained my breath. "Well, it's a big job, and I couldn't do it by myself." He replied, eyeing Remus and I. I looked at Remus, and we shared a glance that said neither of us wanted to be talked into cleaning 12 Grimmauld place. "Well, I'm sure that the kids would help you do it, if told them to." Said Remus, and we all shared a laugh. "Where are the kids, anyways?" "Well, they went out somewhere, I think to the muggle corner store. They were supposed to be back a while ago, and I think Molly's gone out to look for them." The conversation went on like this for awhile, growing steadily stranger as we had more beer. Butterbeer is very light stuff, but when you have enough of it, it can have a bit of an effect on you. I think that Molly Weasley came in, dragging Fred and George by their ears, while Ron and Hermione followed sheepishly behind, at around 9:30. Both her and her husband joined us at around 10:00. I began to lose track of time after that, but I remember talking little, laughing lots, and savoring every moment that I spent next to Remus. I'm pretty sure that we talked into the wee hours of the morning, because after awhile got up and looked at the clock. "Goodness me, it's 12:24!" she said. "Well I guess I'd better be going" said Remus. "See you on Thursday." I couldn't be sure, but it seemed like he was looking at me when he said that. My heart skipped a beat. I imagined him putting his hands around my waist, leaning in, and kissing me goodbye… "Tonks, dear, will you be able to make it home in the dark? Or would you like to sleep here?" Molly's kind voice broke into my daydreams. "Oh, I think it would be best if I stayed here on the couch tonight, but I'll leave 1st thing tomorrow." "Well, good night than, and remember, if you need anything, I'm in the 2nd bedroom on the left." she said as she went upstairs. "Night, Tonks." Yawned Sirius as he followed her up. "Goodnight, everyone." I mumbled, lay down on the couch, and instantly fell into a deep document here...


	2. Chapter 2

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Chapter 2: A Curious Dream

I was sitting on the big green couch in the living room of my apartment, between Lucius Malfoy and Remus Lupin. Beside from us, Dumbledore was sitting on a beanbag chair, playing go-fish with Mad-eye Moody and Lord Voldemort. Severus Snape was singing the muggle song Rolling in the Deep, and across from us, my mother was waltzing with Kreacher on the purple striped carpet. I was in the middle of an avid discussion on quidditch teams with Lucius, when Remus got up and began walking towards a big, red door. I looked at him, and he beaconed for me to follow. So I got up (after saying good bye to Lucius, and asking him to say hello to his ferret for me), and followed him through the door. On the other side, was a room with a blue door. On the other side of the blue door there was a room with a green door. Remus put on hand on the handle of the green door, and slid his other hand into my own. He than turned to me. "Are you ready?" he asked "Definitely." I replied. He turned the handle, and ever so slowly pushed open the door. My jaw dropped in amazement. What lay on the other side was truly a sight to see. Flowers of blue, purple, indigo and white stretched as far as my eyes could see, all bathed in the light of the radiant crescent moon shining up above us. More beautiful a sight I had never seen. Remus smiled at me. "Do you like it? I found it the other day, while looking for my lost dragon. He got off his leash, you see, and I still haven't found him. But I found this place," he said, leaning in closer, "and I found you." His hands were on my waist now, and I threw my arms around his neck. He leaned in closer and closer, until we were so close that our noses were touching, and then…

… Sunlight streamed through the tattered curtains of 13 Grimmauld place. I groaned. Another dream. I had had another dream about him. Hadn't I told myself that I was not to have another one of those!? Well, I guess I can't control what I dream about. But honestly, I shouldn't get my hopes up about him. Oh, I know that he likes me well enough… as a friend and co-worker, that is. He more than 10 years older than me, and much, much more accomplished. If I told him how I felt about him, he would probably assume that I was pulling a prank, and laugh.

I sat up, and looked out the window. The sun was high in the sky. I jumped out of bed, all traces of grogginess suddenly gone. What time was it?! I could tell by the sky that it was late morning. Shoot. I had said that I would leave first thing. I went into the kitchen, where I found making breakfast. "Good morning! I was wondering when you were going to get up!" she said, in her kind, cheerful voice. "What time is it?" I asked. "It's 10:33. Everyone else seems to be sleeping in to, because you and I are the only ones up. You'll be staying for breakfast, I presume?" I felt cheeks grow hot from embarrassment "I assure you, Tonks, you have nothing to be ashamed of. We have houseguests from the order all the time! Why, Kingsley Shackelbolt spent the night on Monday, and stayed for breakfast. I think he quite liked my pancakes!"


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